I would rather someone abort a child they don't want than to have the child and it end up neglected and in the system as it got older. I know he can tell I'm not in love with him and I think he thinks he's in love with me ( told me he loved me only after 3 weeks of dating, should've been my first red flag there) anywho we don't really fight a lot and are mostly very friendly around eachother and really do try to make it work but when he gets in his moods I just can't he got drunk one night and almost ran us off the road after telling me he was fine ( he really was acting completely fine) then when I screamed due to being terifed he yelled at me, took away my phone and told me to get out of the house , which I did. My ex won't come back to me after I hurt h Ex girlfriend is pregnant with her new boyfriend months after breaking up with me. It just reads so snobby and lazy. Support yourself. My kids are doing good. Trust me dude, do whatever you have to to end this A.S.A.P. I My ex-girlfriend is pregnant. Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. In other words, those maternal. I chose to divorce my husband and my boyfriend of 4yrs has now ditched meit's also the consequence for the actions that I chose GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! not the father, mother or child. MzGee Ditches 3Music TV To Take Over Nana Ama McBrowns Show At UTV. Hey I know exactly how you feel. I'm curious as to how he is selfish?? 15) His biological clock is ticking. This is the most stupid guy I have seen in my life twety something years of existance. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. You can't force yourself to love him. Having a baby with him because of 'guilt' would be barking mad. My only advice is to make sure you don't make your or your wife or your baby's life miserable. After I really got to know him without drinking and partying, I found out I didn't like his personality. I know quite a few mothers who weren't ready (not that anyone ever is) to have a baby when they did and just grew to resent their child. Op: get a job and support yourself. Also, you must then decide if you want to be in the child's life, how you will coordinate co-parenting a kid when you're not in a relationship, etc. Sorry for the long story, but I wanted to give you an example of how the other side of things could go. If you just dont see it working it is better to do it now. I didn't want to end up starting a family in my 50s. YOU CANNOT PROVIDE HAPPINESS WHEN YOU ARE NOT HAPPY. It was very stressful. If you don't want a baby, then you won't be having one. have condoms been created for monkeys, so silly, i feel for your baby maannnnn, irresponsible parents. I hope you find what you're looking for. Second, if she were to make that decision previously to have an abortion for whatever reason you are not someone whose opinion matters since you're on an Internet forum and you don't know the personal lives of anyone on here enough to dictate that they should never have an abortion. She is a good person, and a fantastic catch for somebody unfortunately that person is not me. Best of luck. So you have been together 9yrs, do you have other children you need to think about as well? I talked with him about how we had to stop thinking about ourselves and trying to hurt each other. My current girlfirend got pregnant while on the mini pill. The thought of her raising my kid with another man makes me feel sick, I hate this. I think it's best to do what will make you the happiest. And which case, most would be use safe sex and if thy got pregnant, they would try for an abortion. He bought it and it is in his name. If you don't, pursuing. Group Leaders arent expected to spend any additional time in the community, and are not held to a set schedule. Privacy Policy. Spend time with like-minded people who love and respect your choices. Its best to rip the band-aid off now instead of living a miserable life indefinitely. As a matter of fact, there are many mental, emotional, and social side effects associated with being a young-faced woman. You will need to know on how to get a Taurus man make a decision due to your current situation. I guess I'm just looking for someone on the same boat because I really wish I could have someone to talk to. the guy might turn into a psychopath and malevolent towards the girl.he would also probably turn into a serial cheater and wife beater which is usually what happens. She knows him for 9 MONTHS not years. love should beget love and not hate or fear..something society always It was important to me that my children had as normal upbringing as possible. Likewise, it's also draining, frustrating, and time-consuming. The preferential parent is a parent who loves one child, the " golden child ," but doesn't love the other (or others), a " scapegoat .". By Simon Maybin. Right now her parents are planning to bring her over to my house. Don't feel guilty if you're not in a constant state of love and bliss when you have a new baby. In fact, before we found out I was pregnant (which was completely unplanned) I was thinking of breaking up with him. Life is beautiful but you don't have a clue Sun and ocean blue Their magnificence, it don't make sense to you Black beauty, oh oh oh Black beauty, oh oh oh I paint the house black My wedding dress black leather too You have no room for light Love is lost on you I keep my lips red To seem like cherries in the spring Darling, you can't let everything Don't let ANY women determine for you when you will become a father! AND NO ONE IN THIS SITUATION WILL BE HAPPY IF IT IS. But that luxury comes with an expiration date, especially for women. No need to waste time your life and time on him. Anyways, we decided to get marry after finding out that she was pregnant, even though I had my doubts if it was my baby or not. I just need to vent and I thought this would be a good place to do it. If you're still contemplating having a family, you're still young enough to have that luxury. Your bodies will fit together perfectly. And I still do. He started cheating and I would cry myself to sleep. Sex is the leading cause of babies. we should always strife to solve a problem no matter how painful by looking at its essence and its core and not from its form. I know this is not the time to criticise as the harm has already been caused, but i will still ask: If you claim you dnt love someone, how on earth did u get involved with her, let alone put her in the family way? Anyway, if you don't want to be with her, make that very clear. ( though I don't see the first one as a mistake because making babies should not be a mistake.it is the natural order of things).you cant force people to do things out of their wishes and desires. He's provided for me financially, has given me a house and a car, and is really into being a father. I don't know what to do. Made a mistake without any intention to make it surely will freak someone out. Everyone has their reasons for doing things and it's not up to us to judge them. start communicatin with her without quarrellin give her a try n am sure things gonna work out Or r u afraid u wont be able to sleep around or play ur games wen she step into urlife dear dwag such life n face reality. Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window), New Music Video: 'Badman Badgirl' By Becca Feat. Maybe he doesn't like being used. We respect everyones right to express their thoughts and opinions as long as they remain respectful of other community members, and meet What to Expects Terms of Use. You both mature guys so kindly sit her down and explain with vital reasons to her as to why just cant marry her but be sure to do it in a spirit of gentleness less you provoke her and all plans fade cos gals can be crazy at times when provoked. One slight problem I don't love her! 'Don't expect rewards in love': woman, 32, who desperately wants a baby says she dated 100 men in a year, renewing marriage pressure debate in China A woman went on more than 100 dates. And remember, folks who don't want kids don't want kids. And if your parents think you guys are in love Then how does that work? All rights reserved. The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. Is it okay for you to feel down all the time thinking about the mistake you did? That's a bummer sadly, the pill can and often does fail, even if its taken 100% properly and on time (and it usually isn't), so you have to be REALLY careful with someone you dont want to reproduce with, as many men have found before you. SCENARION 4: HAVE AN OBORTION. The best alterantive is if you can be amicable and stay friends w/your child's mother and cooperate for the kid's sake, although w/the emotions involved that isn't always possible. If you'd like to talk more you could Facebook message me my names Logan Downey this is my profile pic but in rainbow. That is exactly how I feel about my life over the past 8 years - it feels like I have been sleepwalking. If someone truly needs GA, that's absolutely what it's for. Broken heart is a usual thing but, what is bad is the action that people choose to take to heal the broken heart itself. And one of the problems is the appearance of a question having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it? sit the lady down n explain things to her and the most important thing is take very good care of your child. You said you quit your job Is that because of the pregnancy? IS THAT WHAT SHE/HER DESERVES A GARANTEED **** UP ENVRIOMENT? I really don't want to mess this child's life up. If you don't like him, you don't have to live with him or use him. Good luck. Use of this site is subject to our terms of use and privacy policy. and our A Group Owner is a member that has initiated the creation of a group to connect with other members to share their journey through the same pregnancy & baby stages. I can't bear the thought of breaking up and not being a part to this child's upbringing. You had the intention to be with someone for fun without taking the consequences seriously. You should have your own baby feelings figured out. AND THE END OF THE DAY IS ALSO HERS. If I could take a pill that made me love u him I would, whereas I think he thinks he can start a new life if he left me? We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. Babies can put stress on a couple because it requires both mom and dad to give of themselves. Be responsible of your act and decision on something. This is it, i went and made my life more complicated than it already was by adding a new factor, a child, to the equation. If I could do something different, it would be to divorce as soon as my last daughter was born. It depends on the person. cos no parents will watch their daughter to be ignore by a guy whom impregnated her\.. and am not even sure de gurl will accept that U must learn how to love her love grows strongly if u give it a chance.. give that a try ok without causin her much pain. Told me "**** the baby" I was gone for a while after that but went back due to having no where else to go. Are these issues still there? What can I do please? But I want to be a father. You don't want support, you just want to hear he is a bad guy and you are a victim. Open-Ended Questions To Ask A Girl (205 Open Ended Questions To Ask A Girl), How To Make A Girl Blush Over Text (101 Things To Say), How To Compliment A Girl Over Text (141 Ways), Qualities Of A Good Woman (29 Vital Qualities), How Often Should You Text A Girl To Keep Her Interested (25 Helpful Tips), Signs A Married Woman Wants You To Make A Move (23 Signs To Look For), How To Turn On A Woman With Words (155 Tips), 27 Obvious Signs A Woman Wants To Sleep With You, Reasons Why Pisces Man Loves Scorpio Woman (9 Interesting Reasons), If He Doesnt Introduce You To His Friends, What Does It Mean? "Once you cross that line, look for life to get easier in every way. That showed up as a third factor." To begin, the average cost of vaginal delivery in the US, with health insurance, is $4,300. By Kate Spencer Published: Apr 27, 2016 UNIVERSAL PICTURES | LAYNEELU/IMGUR AGE 6 I. The Preferential Parent. As to my ex yes she is into me, we where together for over 9 years, this current relationship is just 10 months old! It tears me apart. Broken heart is a usual thing but, what is bad is the action that people choose to take to heal the broken heart itself. Moreland told me, "Some moms have that immediate, overwhelming, love-at-first-sight feeling with their newborns; others don't. And that's okay. He's not all bad. Adults with kids don't need someone else to financially support them. I got pregnant with a 34 year old man with another baby and I'm only 19 we've know each other 3 months now but only knew each other a couple weeks when we found out. Being in a loveless relationship is not a good example for the LO you already have and the one on the way. This is reason why i always advice Ladies that they need to STOP creating soul ties by sexing guys Sex isnt better than love its about time you Let the men know in upfront that you are not having sex before marriage. Aside from personal decision to have an unwanted relationship and questioning such question of having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it, we will need to be responsible. Mia, the fascinating thing about postpartum depression and anxiety is that it isn't logical. And when the oldest child was about 10, I finally left. She will touch you in a gentle way, kiss you softly and hug you with her heart. I do not know the answer to that. Rightfully so! What to Expect has thousands of open discussions happening each day. You have to remember you are only going to be a victim for as long as you allow yourself to be one. As opposed to hanging out with friends and other men she isn't in love with, she may be much more outgoing and boisterous. It is normal to want to lay your head on your mother's breast and feel the security and warmth of her love and compassion. Best wishes for a lifetime of happiness. We found out. "And Maggie Makes Three" is the thirteenth episode of the sixth season of the American animated television series The Simpsons. The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. I was not in love with the guy I got pregnant by. SHE DESERVES A SAYING IN THIS! I got pregnant in September of 2011. gals are expect dnt 4get. Yes, her hormones will be out of whack. If you're dating a woman who doesn't want to have kids, you should know whether or not you do. Romantic relationship of beautiful couple. My father married my mother when she became pregnant times were different then of course. He's controlling you since you are 100% dependent on him. The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. Sometimes people make choices to abort, adopt, or keep the child. The ex and i still argue sometimes but you have to learn when to shut up. You decided to have a child with a man you barely know, you use him and his money (as you wrote, he can afford to pay for your car and other stuff) and you want us to praise you. To not make the problem goes worse, be responsible for your unwanted partner and the baby. Most were married to . The Stages of Wanting to Have a Baby, by Age From being adorably clueless to using all the condoms to #MomLife. You don't even love him. I just don't think it's right to bring a child into the world when you can see the end of the relationship. Fertility is amazing, making a baby with your own body is an unreal magical power, feeding that baby with your body is some kind of sci-fi-fantasy level of madness. Also my ex is unlikely to have children which in her case actually doesn't matter to me. ALL THIS TRANSLATE TO THE CHILD. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. I don't know how I can be a great weekend father. Ex GIrlfriend blocked me out of the blue! the repercussions and consequences of such an act always plays out. 2) Are you prepared to forego this child and create a loving family with someone you truly love (which means you will wait for this new love to bear you a child).but be completely guilty all your life to abandon your first newborn just because you dont love your girlfriend. Either stay or get off the pot but be careful how you play this. You can be in a long-term relationship with someone and never get married. Is anyone in the same situation. Nobody wants probably so you think men should just force themselves to be in love with someone they're not?? I want to be a father!!! Good luck to you. Men don't have a biological clock in the same sense as women. The man I am pregnant by has been in my life for years and is a good man but I am not in love with him. I don't get how you came to that conclusion and you are just a bitter girl that 9 min read. Damaged. After all, what is marriage if there is no happiness? You're an adult. woman in labor woman giving birth Sort by: Most popular Woman with newborn baby Pretty woman holding a newborn baby in her arms Be true to yourself and you will allow yourself to get things that you deserve. It doesn't, does it? I wasn't happy. a deed frowned upon by society and seen as a problem The deed has already been done instead of advising and coming up with ways to make sure the child is brought up in a obviously deserving loving environment that the child needs instead of an environment filled with resentment, hate, misery, spitefulness etc etc, you all are pushing.insulting and forcing the guy to guy marry the girl in question.. marrying that girl would even be a bigger mistake and problem than the first one. Congratulations, a new bundle of joy is coming to fill your home with love and bliss. Adoption is for some people who want to unselfishly make sure the child is cared for and loved by people who can support it just like toughing it out and having the child, supporting it, and loving it is for others. There are reasons you should know and love yourself before you love someone else that will remind you to be true to yourself. YOU'LL BE STABLE. As for my girlfriend, I love this person and i will do my best to make it work out. Will you make a better progress by doing so? In November 2022, I gave birth to my precious baby girl. I have heard that arranged marriages actually have a better long term outcome because of this. I want to leave my 4 months pregnant girlfriend !! Well of course he would keep the car. I want to love this baby, but I can't shake how I feel. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. And a bit frightening. The relationship seems new and I know that is hard. I'm supposed to get married in a month. the woman would be unhappy, miserable and resentful as well in the long run for marrying a man who doesnt love her or care if she exists. Just that simple. There are reasons on why you should never date a pothead. Accept That You Will Never Be First. He pays for the stuff bc he can afford too and didn't want me working while pregnant which was fine when everything was good. I must contain all this and somehow manage it thus minimizing any possible damage. We won't agree with you, if we think you are not right, sorry, girl! Amazed how women can be on these forums. I was in the same boat. We live together, that's all I can say, we have nothing else. But I don't know if I can be with her for the rest of my life. Hi everyone! He's controlling. I know life would be so much easier if we were together, but I don't know if it's worth it. Though they don't have a child, Oprah and Stedman have been together for decades and have no intention of being married. Time passed and we just got comfortable being there. You could have an easy pregnancy, a quick easy delivery and a healthy happy baby. Take a time to learn from your mistake so that you won't fall into the same problem. Don't create a situation where you are stuck and can be controlled like that. The way you wrote that sounds like you think what a man wants is not as important as what a woman wants. The guy obviously does not love the girl in question yet went ahead and had a baby with her out of wedlock.